Break Up Survival Process

Today's post is going to be some advice that I wish I had taken more seriously. If you get out of a long relationship, please give yourself a chance to enjoy being single. You do not necessarily have to go "buck wild" (as the kids say), but you can give yourself a chance to meet a lot of new people and decide what you are really interested in. If you do not give yourself a chance to see what you really like, chances are that you will inadvertently look for someone with similar characteristics of your ex. Because it is the beginning of the relationship, this new guy will be incredibly sweet and amazing, but still have those qualities that you are so used to. The problem is, this guy will inevitably start doing the same dumb shit your ex did once he gets comfortable. With this, you will find yourself starting all over with the nonsense that you finally got yourself over.

Here is the break up survival process:

1. Start hanging out with your friends and lean on them through the whole "grieving process". PLEASE do not rely on a new man for this process because than you will develop feelings too quickly and things will get ugly. We develop these feelings because he seems so so reliable and he must really care and you can really open up to them about your previous relationship (blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit). He is just trying to get in so do not be so vulnerable when you start looking for a man. If you meet the man of your dreams right after a break up, just tell him you need some time to yourself and if he really cares he'll wait for you (cliche as hell but completely true).

2. Start going out to places you do not normally go so you can get to know a new crowd. There is no point in going to the same bars or house parties that you always go to because than you probably will have a hard time meeting someone new.

3. (MOST IMPORTANT) Do not jump into a new relationship for at least a few months after the break up. That seems like a long time to be single if you were in a long term relationship, but it will really pay off in the end. You need to be completely independent before you start a new relationship. Trust me!!!!

4. When you are finally ready, start a relationship with the guy that always stuck by you and was not just expecting a quick hook up out of you. (sorry for being so graphic but you will meet tons of these asshole while you are "dating")



As I have mentioned before in a previous post, I have made this mistake recently and it really sucks. Because of it I am incredibly bitter and have major trust issues. On the bright side, I hopefully helped someone through my cataclysmic mistakes. Remember, enjoy being single and do not settle for the first guy that you meet. Every guy spits mad game in the beginning, but it does not mean that they will stay that way.

There is no real reason to be friends with an ex ...

Some people are lucky enough not to have a rocky breakup and can manage to stay friends afterwards. For the rest of the world, it literally makes no sense to continue to be friends. First and foremost, if he broke up with you or was acting like such an asshole that you had to break up with him, DON'T BE HIS FRIEND! I guarantee that no matter how much you tell yourself that you are over it, you still have some feelings for him. If you guys hang out and stay friends, these feelings will resurface and force you to fall into the same mess all over again. Though he might be acting friendly, he does not want you back (sorry to break the news). He more than likely cares about you, but he is not in love with you. You may even convince him into another relationship, but it will not last and you will have to go through a second break up. Men are cowards and will not admit that they do not want to be together to your face. They will just act like complete assholes and push you away until you finally give up and break up with them. They do this because they do not want "hurt your feelings", but little do they know that continuously lying to you and making you work so hard to fix a broken relationship will hurt your feelings far worse than just telling the truth (go figure).

I apologize I got incredibly sidetracked. Anyway, do not convince yourself that there is a reason you SHOULD be friends because there isn't. For instance, I (like a moron) decided to date one of my neighbors. Things did not work out and we decided we should be friends because we live in the same building and have to see each other all the time. STUPID! Please trust me, it will not work out. Our friendship led to a string of on and offs, several fights, and an embarrassing amount of tears. So I took some time away from him and realized that he is mentally retarded and I must have been temporarily out of my mind to find him tolerable for this long. He and I still speak to each other but I have made it extremely clear to him that he and I are NOT friends. We do not spend any extended amounts of time together and I have managed to keep myself out of trouble.

WARNING: If you do not take my advice and you do start befriending an ex, please be advised that if he is acting overly friendly it is more than likely that he is fiending. Please don't be tricked into thinking he really cares, especially if he has not been making any real effort to talk to you. The idiot next door tried to pull the "I miss you" crap after not seeing me for two weeks but fortunately I am not as naive as he expects. When he tried to kiss me and got mad that I did not return the favor, I was able to get him to admit it was only because he was "lonely" and was trying to fill his needs for the moment. Unfortunately for me, the fact that I have been acting like a complete asshole to him has been making him try harder even though he has no desire to pursue an adult relationship.